It can be a challenge, to say the least, to deal with a Narcissist. Let alone be in a relationship with one. Many of our clients who are in a relationship with one come in feeling like they are "crazy" and don't know what to believe anymore. Only to find they've often been manipulated or "charmed" into a relationship with a self-absorbed person. It can be a huge struggle. However, once you understand a Narcissist and see them for the hurt and wounded person that they most likely are, you can create a better relationship with them. It takes a lot of work and guidance but can be done. Hopefully this week has offered you a look inside a Narcissist. Here are a few more traits. Emptiness at the Core
- They are not aware of many parts of their life (like a relationship that is failing or a child who is hurting)
- Makes comments about how bad their life is or the quality of their life but rarely does anything to change it.
- Poor and limited social support system
- Has little to no relationships outside the family and rarely does anything to benefit those outside their "world"
- Is never satisfied with their relationships with others, but doesn't see their part in it.
- Doesn't know the purpose of their life
- Very limited, if any, spiritual life
- Is unable to reach out to others and connect with them in a purposeful way.
- Rarely feels joy or pain. If they do, they have difficulty expressing it.
- Cannot tell you a reasonable goal or a goal they hope to obtain in the future
Fails to Recognize Boundaries
- Tells others what to do and expects them to follow their orders.
- Doesn't knock when entering a room or office and doesn't wait for the permission required to enter.
- In a relationship, they will accept or decline an rsvp without asking their partner first.
- When looking for something, they have no problem going thru other's personal items such as purses, drawers, desks, or phones.
- They do not ask permission before touching someone
- They make decisions for others.
- They will easily borrow something from someone and tell them later (or not tell them at all).
- When they arrive early or leave late, they make sure everyone notices.
- Easily interrupts conversations without hesitation
- Says inappropriate things for attention including jokes or stories they think are funny at the wrong time
- Will purposely wear clothes to get attention (too revealing or to shock or break the rules)
- Talks loudly
- They do not like to be ignored
- Pouts when they don't get their way
- They will push to get their opinions out and try to sway people to believe in the Narcissists opinion. They have a hard time letting something go.
- They challenge others opinions, rather than respecting them.
As you can see, it is challenging! Many times, it is like dealing with a 2 year-old. But even when dealing with a Toddler, there are things you can do to make it better. Loving the Self-Absorbed by Nina W. Brown, Ed.D., LPC, NCC can help you find ways to do that. Much of this information was adapted from her book.
Although a difficult topic, I hope it has been helpful. Thank you for reading and we will see you tomorrow as Joleen finishes out the week.
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville