Why is Your Wife Not Attracted to You? Part 1

If you followed our blog last week, you know we are in the middle of a two-part series.  Last week we focused on talking to wives about why your husband may be unhappy in your marriage and struggling with his attraction to you—this week we are focusing on talking to husbands about why your wife might be struggling with her attraction for you.  These are also the things that might be causing your wife to be unhappy in your marriage.

Do you understand what your wife is talking about when she complains to you?  Do you ever wonder why your wife doesn’t want to be intimate with you?  If these sound familiar, we hope you’ll check back daily as we discuss reasons why your wife may be disconnected from you.  We hope to offer some areas to reflect on and possibly make some changes in.

You aren’t present

It’s really, really easy to get distracted nowadays.  Between work, hobbies, children, sports, technology, the list goes on.  I want you to think back on the days you were dating your wife.  Did she get your undivided attention?  Did you ever ask her about her day, ask her about her dreams for the future, or have talks about her thoughts/feelings on current events?

Imagine how it must feel to her now when you won’t turn off the TV or put the phone down to spend time or to talk to her now.  Or when you over-schedule yourself to play golf, go hunting, or work too much and you don’t get any time with her.  She was once your world, and the number one priority, and now she’s lucky to get any of your time and attention.  This is how anger, bitterness, and resentment can creep into your marriage. 

You have to carve out time to spend with your wife, and to be completely present.  For women, intimacy starts outside of the bedroom.  If you can connect with your wife on an emotional level, she’s going to be more willing to connect with you on a physical level. 

Check back this week as we discuss more reasons why your wife might be unhappy in your marriage, and why she might be struggling with her feelings of attraction to you!

Written by Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW

Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group.  Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling.  Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.

Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.