This week we have been writing about some general things we often hear husbands feel challenged with in their marriages. Many times, women will feel this sense of unhappiness from their husband, and get the general feeling that he is no longer attracted to her. Of course these are all general and don't happen in every marriage. But we do hear a lot of the same struggles from men. We thought it might be helpful to share them with women.
Men often struggle when women don't take care of themselves any longer.
I know that appearance is not everything in a relationship and we should not judge people on how they look. And I also know how much we women love our sweatpants! But there needs to be a balance. It's hard when we start having kids to remember to take care of ourselves. Often our physical health goes by the wayside and unfortunately our health goes with it. With so much to balance and take care of, we often forget to take care of our own health.
We hear husbands that are concerned about this. It's not just when a women doesn't take care of her physical appearance, it's when he is concerned that she doesn't go to the doctor. He's worried because she doesn't get that unusual mole checked out or is squinting because she needs glasses but won't make herself a priority to get these things checked out or taken care of. He's concern about HER.
One thing we encourage husbands to do is to ask how they can help this happen. Many times the wife is not ignoring these things because she wants to. It's because she can't find the time to make the appointment.....and keep it. If he can take something off her plate, she might follow through.
As for appearance, it's important to find a balance between having days to relax and wear sweats and trying to keep up a nice appearance so our husbands see that we respect our own bodies. If we find a balance, usually they don't mind the sweat pants a day or two a week!
When wives don't work on or address their insecurity with their body image or low self-esteem
When a husband sees or hears his wife putting herself down and having low confidence, he struggles with how to handle it. Is it something he's doing or saying? Or is it something within her she needs to work through? It's really hard for them to understand what goes on in a woman's mind and how she compares herself to other women.
If a women notices she's insecure or struggles with body image, it's important to try to find the root of it and work through it. Those insecurities are bound to come out in arguments or just everyday life in general. The husband may see it but be afraid to mention it because of the insecurity he sees in you. It's important to understand them and work through them to free yourself from insecurity.
Thank you for taking the time to join us this week. Tomorrow Joleen will finish up our blog. Next week we will be looking at why women might be struggling with attraction for her husband, and general reasons why your wife might be unhappy in your marriage . Stay tuned!
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC, LCAC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.