Do You Say These Things?-"Yeah, but..."

As therapists we hear a lot of dysfunctional phrases from people. Many say things without thinking about the message they are sending. Some will blurt phrases out of their mouths without any awareness of how it could be taken. This leads to arguments and miscommunication which can end in pain in relationships.  This week Imagine Hope will point out some of the common phrases we hear clients say which show their destructive thought patterns.

Phrase #1: "Yeah, but..."

When someone uses this phrase they are initially agreeing with what the other person is saying, and then immediately retracting it. This phrase minimizes and dismisses what the other person is trying to communicate. This is commonly the initial statement someone makes when they become defensive. The underlying message that is sent is "I am not wrong and I am not going to listen to what you are saying." As you can imagine saying this phrase will instantly break down the flow of communication and build emotional walls. Have you ever used this phrase? Next time you start to, try to pay attention to what message the other person might be hearing!

Keep reading this week for more lessons on what not to say!

Written by guest blogger Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Renewed Horizon Counseling. Teri does virtual therapy for residents of Indiana and Florida using videoconferencing technology. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling and adolescent counseling. You can find Teri at