Oh, defining moments. They can be beautiful, sad, joyous, and convicting - all at the same time. That moment when it seems we're living life just fine, but then more clarity is revealed about ourselves. For me, that clarity left me feeling convicted & determined to change.
Learning to be Fully Dependent on God
This past fall I went skydiving for the first time. It. Was. Awesome. I never imagined how much I'd enjoy free-falling through the air at 120mph or using the parachute to spin around to get a full view of creation all around me. It was a thrill.
My jump instructor was great. He told me everything I needed to know upfront which alleviated my anxiety. But I had one question while we were still in the plane: How do we land? I mean, do we come in to the landing by running on the ground? Should I lift my legs and let him land us? Or is there another option I haven't thought of? A girl's gotta know, ya know!?
He had the best response, "I'll tell you when it's time." I immediately trusted his answer, and at the same time felt a little embarrassed. I mean, we were still in the plane and had 2 miles of airspace to navigate!
The jump went great. He told me everything I needed to do at the time I needed to do it. He told me what HE was going to do right before he did it. When it came time to land, he told me to lift my legs and we smoothly landed on our bottoms. (And then I jumped up and screamed in pure delight. LOL)
Later, as I processed the jump, I realized how much trust I put into my instructor, who was a complete stranger. I trusted him because he was an expert. He does this everyday, several times a day. Who am I to question him? (I can totally see you nodding your head in agreement.)
And then it hit me like a 2x4. I don't give this much trust to God! It's true. I don't place my daily life in God's hands as I did this instructor's. I don't listen to every prompting spoken in my ear from God and believe it with all my heart. I don't take every whisper from God that says, "Here's what I want you to do next" as Truth. Too many times, I'm focused on how I'm going to land while I could be enjoying the journey with God. He created me! He knows what's best for me. The bigger question is this: Who am I to question God?
I felt convicted and I asked for forgiveness. And because God is so good, I know I'm forgiven. I treasure this lesson and I hold onto it each day. I have a picture on my phone of jumping out of that plane to remind myself to fully trust God. I pray my defining moment can shed some light in your life somehow. Thanks for reading.
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.