Isn't it amazing the myths we believe? It seems we pick these up from so many different relationships in our lives and carry them around to interfere with many of our conversations. It's been great discussing these this week.
Myth #6: “Our problems are so serious, we just can’t communicate with each other”
Reality: Everyone can communicate in a healthy way if they make the choice to do so. As stated in Myth #2, healthy and effective communication doesn’t come naturally. It takes hard work, insight to your own personality, history, and issues, as well as commitment to work on changing towards a more positive direction. As we will discuss in Myth #7, you can not, not communicate!
Myth #7: “The most important aspect of the communication in our relationship is our verbal language”
Reality: Much of our most important communication occurs in non-verbal languages, including gestures, tone, facial expressions, conceptions and rules of time and space (e.g. “waiting for the doctor”, “the look of contempt”), etc. . More often than not, the most significant communication "rules" are unspoken. That may explain why we feel so betrayed when those rules are "broken." Remember how you felt the last time someone cut in front of you in a line? The unspoken part of our language is equally as important as the spoken, and can communicate a lot! Studies from communication and anthropology show that when people from different cultures make each other uncomfortable, it is not the language barrier which is the problem, but rather the "languages" of time, space, order, and other non-verbal communication messages. How aware are you of the unspoken, non-verbal communication in your relationships?
Did you identify with either of these? Tomorrow Joleen will share our last few. Thank you for reading and have a great day!
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC, LCAC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.