Emotional Affairs - What to Watch For

There are many signs of emotional affairs, if you know what to look for.  While these signs can also be related to other life issues, as well as physical or sexual infidelity, there are some common themes to look for when dealing with an emotional affair:

  • Hearing your partner talk about another person of the opposite sex more frequently and with more fondness than before.  It could be a co-worker or old friend from high school from Facebook that your partner has been talking to on the phone.  When you confront your partner about your discomfort with the situation, he/she may become very defensive and be adamant they are "just friends". 
  • Your spouse or partner no longer confides in you intimately any longer.  You may find out that he/she is sharing things of a personal or intimate nature with another person of the opposite sex, which are things that need to be reserved exclusively for your relationship.
  • Stange phone behavior, including secretive phone calls or text messages.  Your partner may hide the phone or hang up the phone when you walk in the room, or they may keep the face of the phone turned down when it is sitting in the open.  Also, your partner may be unreachable by phone for long periods of time when out of the house, and may fail to promptly return text messages or phone calls when they didn't used to do that in the past. He/she may refuse to answer the phone when they are with their "friend".
  • Your partner may be working later than usual, more often than usual, with no specific changes to his/her job title.  Also, your partner may be going out more frequently without you, wants to spend more time away from you, and could be secretive or evasive when sharing where he/she is. 
  • Your partner may be overly flirtatious when around a certain "friend", speaking to them the way you remember he/she did with you when you first started dating.  Your partner may also act jealous when he hears of the other person going on dates, or when they spend time with members of the opposite sex.
  • You notice your partner keeping more secrets from you, and feel them avoiding intimacy with you.  You find out that another person of the opposite sex seems to know more about him/her than you do lately.

These are only a few of the signs to look for with emotional affairs.  For more information, feel free to contact us at Imagine Hope Counseling!  Check back next week for our new blog topic...   10 Tips for Positive Parenting.

Written by: Joleen Watson, MS, NCC

Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling.  Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.