At Imagine Hope we read and recommend books for people all the time. As the fall is starting it's time for us to recommend some more! When you think about the weather cooling off and and curling up with a good book, we have several that will continue to help you on your journey. We hope you'll find one that speaks to you and will aid you in your healing. The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life by Dr. Patricia Love
I know just looking at this title gets your attention, doesn't it? This is a great book for people who have had an invasive and enmeshing family of origin. Many parents love their children, but this book helps people see that you can actually love your children too much! When parents don't let their child discover their own identity and they are too involved in their child's day-to-day happenings this could be part of the emotional incest syndrome. It is part of healthy development to let you child live their own life and suffer their own consequences as a result. At some point they should stop needing you so much. A great example of this syndrome is depicted in the TV show "Everybody loves Raymond". Ray and his mom, Marie, are so enmeshed that he has not formed an identity outside of being her son. He has trouble as a father and husband because his mother's love still controls his life. This book not only helps you see the boundaries that are crossed with this type of parenting, but it also gives great advice to adult children of these relationships to not carry on the relationship with their own kids. I know it can be hard to let go of the parenting role as your children age, but staying too involved, even if out of love, can have a negative impact on your child's future relationships.
Stay tuned for more great book reviews this week!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.