As we continue to discuss Addictions this week, it is important to identify Relationship Addictions. We see this a lot at Imagine Hope. Again, it is one of the Addictions that is hard to recognize if you don't understand what it is. It is "acceptable". You've heard people say, and there was even a song written about it, "They are just addicted to love". This can actually happen.
This week we are focusing on addictions. If you have not read the previous blogs, it is important to do so as Teri has actually defined an addiction. Tamara also made an excellent point in saying with addictions, it is not always the "how much" someone is doing something but they "why". That is so true. Today, I am going to talk to you about work addiction.
When some people think of gambling addiction, they have a picture in mind of someone who takes their paycheck and blows it on scratch offs or at the casino. Someone who is in jeopardy of being evicted from their home, can barely buy groceries, and has collection agencies calling. Although this is a picture of a gambling addict, there are other forms as well.
Addictions are a common issue we deal with here at Imagine Hope. We see everything ranging from alcohol, drugs, and sex, to work, facebook, and food. Society is getting deeper looks into addictions as well, through T.V. shows like "Hoarders" and "Intervention" becoming more popular. So what makes something an addiction?
This week, Imagine Hope is discussing "failure to launch"-- the issue that many parents of adult children in their 20's and 30's are recently facing. Failure to launch is where a family is anticipating a stage in their family life cycle where the grown children have left the home to venture off in their own career and life paths, but find them back at home again and still dependent on their parents for care. This dependency can be financial (paying for things you would expect an adult to be providing for themselves), physical (providing a place to live, a car to drive, food to eat), emotional, or mental.
I was at a conference when I heard a well known and respected Psychologist, Henry Cloud, tell a wonderful story. It was about a couple he had counseled. They were sick and tired of their 21 year-old son living with them. He didn't contribute financially or with any of the household chores. They wanted to know how they could fix their son's problem. Henry looked at them and said, "Your son doesn't have a problem. He has it made. YOU all have a problem!"
The term "failure to launch" is something that is becoming an increasing problem in our society. Young adults enter into a new developmental stage requiring them to learn to have greater independence and responsibility, as well as learning the skills necessary for more independent activities and decision making. When a child is unwilling or unable to make this life transition successfully, it can have a great emotional impact on both the child as well as the parents.
When children return back home in their 20's and 30's, this can create some uncomfortable moments for parents. Finances is one such area that can become very uncomfortable.
One reason children move back home is for their own financial reasons. Somehow they're struggling financially on their own, and they land on mom and/or dad's doorstep.
Have you ever heard a friend or family member complain about their adult child still living in their basement? This phenomenon is called “Failure to Launch”. This week at Imagine Hope we will be discussing what failure to launch is, the impacts and consequences, and how to address it should you find your adult children still living with you.
magine Hope specializes in helping couples build a healthy relationship. Unfortunately many people come to marriage counseling after a lot of damage has been done- so we all have hard work to do. This week we are trying to help people see signs that their relationship is in need of help before it is too late for the relationship to recover. If you find yourself struggling with some of these in your marriage, it maybe time to talk it through with one of our relationship experts.
How many communication myths have you noticed so far in your relationships? Today we will finish up with myths 8-10:
Myth #8: “For healthy communication in a relationship, both people should be open and willing to communicate about their issues immediately, whenever the need arises”
Reality: While it might seem ideal for our relationships to be able to drop everything and immediately discuss our issues in order to get them resolved quickly and effectively, that isn’t always realistic.