Fall Book Recommendation by Natalie Chandler

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

There’s nothing more relaxing in the Fall then wrapping up in cozy blanket by a warm fire and reading a good book. I’ll be honest, because I have been studying communication now for about 27 years, I really don’t “enjoy” reading books about it. This isn’t to say I don’t still have a lot to learn. I just mean a book on communication isn’t one I would choose with my blanket and fire time. However, recently I attended a conference and heard Sheila Heen speak. She is an amazing communicator and puts things in such a logical format. I had to get her updated book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Sheila shares authorship of this book with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton of The Harvard Negotiation Project.)

This book can be helpful for any relationship from marriages to the highest level of the cooperate world. It reminds us how important it is to not go into conversations with the stance of proving what you say is correct. Instead, it offers us the suggestion of having a “learning stance”. This gives us the perspective of learning what the other person is trying to say or convey rather than just trying to get our point across. The book reminds us to notice what is going on with us when we are communicating, and to try to understand the other person’s story. They give great examples that show how a conversation can deescalate quickly when people are unarmed by a different approach.

Sometimes it can feel like we are living in a world where everyone is talking, no one is listening, and everyone feels they are right. This book challenges us to listen and helps us communicate so we can be heard. It also helps us see how sometimes we are both right, if we can see each other’s perspective and have empathy for one another.

I hope you enjoy this book. Not only that, if you’re struggling with communication in any relationship that is important to you, I hope the principles in this book can change how you begin to communicate.

If you’re interested in hearing an interview with Sheila Heen, follow this link.

Thank you all for reading and have a wonderful week!

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC LCAC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  Her areas of expertise include infidelity recovery, faith-based counseling, anxiety and depression, as well as addictions counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.

Fall Book Recommendation by Tammy McCord

Fall Book Recommendation by Tammy McCord

Fall is definitely upon us! The leaves are turning and the weather is chilly. Now is a great time to cozy up to a fire, grab a cup of hot cider/tea/coffee/hot chocolate, wrap up in a blanket and lose yourself in a great book. We have a few recommendations for you this week to get you started on your way!

Walking Prey by Holly Austin Smith

One of my passions, aside from being a therapist, is fighting human trafficking. I’ve dedicated this year to getting a professional studies certificate in anti-human trafficking and this book was one I recently had to read for a class.

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 5

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 5

 "Letting Go" is a popular topic in recovery from many things-- childhood issues, addictions, codependency, and unhealthy relationships, just to name a few.  Today we will finish with this week's blog series on what it means to "let go":

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 4

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 4

This week we are focusing on what it means to "let go". This can help you with relationships, in your job, with your children, and many aspects of your life. So many things that we try to control are really not ours to control. But we try to control them anyway. Many of the things I will discuss today are related to things we can't control.

What Does it Mean to “Let Go”? Part 3

What Does it Mean to “Let Go”? Part 3

Some of us are better at letting go than others. We all struggle with this concept at some point during our lives. The sensation of holding on gives us this false sense of control, security, and drains us of our energy. Sometimes, we hold on anyway because we do not know how to let go. I hope this week gives you some hints as to how to make that happen.

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 1

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 1

Day after day we hear people talk about the difficulty they have with letting things go. Sometimes it's related to codependency and the trouble they have with not controlling others. Sometimes it's when a person has trouble with an addict in their life. Others just have trouble letting go of old wounds and resentments. So we thought we would help our readers see what "letting go" actually means, and clear up any misconceptions about it.

    How to Forgive: Symbolism

    How to Forgive: Symbolism

    As Natalie discussed yesterday in Part 4 of our blog series on forgiveness, it's important to try and hang onto forgiveness, once you have gone through the steps of the process.  While she discussed some different ways you can make the commitment to forgiveness, what happens if you are struggling with this, and the memories continue to come back?

    How to Forgive: Breaking Free

    How to Forgive: Breaking Free

    I hope with this weeks blog series on forgiveness, you've been able to understand it's importance and how it frees you more than anyone else. We all struggle with forgiveness so navigating it in a healthy way can lower your risk of stress, physical problems, as well as emotional problems. Today we want to talk about how you hang on to forgiveness. 

    How to Forgive: When it Hurts

    How to Forgive: When it Hurts

    Have you ever considered how giving someone forgiveness is actually a gift to yourself?   Well, it is.  Forgiveness is a choice...an active decision to let go of bitterness and resentment towards a situation or a person who has wronged you.  By choosing to let go, one of the greatest benefits is that you release yourself of the burden of caring negative feelings, such as anger, towards the person who has offended you and refocus your attention on something that is more positive and meaningful.

    What is an Emotional Affair? Recovery and Building Trust

    What is an Emotional Affair? Recovery and Building Trust

    Once you have identified that you are in an emotional affair or you have been caught in an emotional affair, there is a specific reconstruction process to follow to heal your relationship.

    These are the first 5 things to do once the initial disclosure has come out…..

    What is an Emotional Affair? Signs and Symptoms

    What is an Emotional Affair? Signs and Symptoms

    There are many signs of emotional affairs, if you know what to look for.  While these signs can also be related to other life issues, as well as physical or sexual infidelity, there are some common themes to look for when dealing with an emotional affair…..

    What is an Emotional Affair? What it Looks Like

    What is an Emotional Affair? What it Looks Like

    What does an emotional affair look like?

    Harry and Sally both worked at Eli Lilly. They were on the IT team together and worked on several projects as a great team. They started going out to lunch to talk shop. One day Harry was very upset about a fight he and his wife had the night before and decided to get some advice from Sally. Sally then shared her struggles in her marriage with her husband. Seem pretty innocent? Let's continue...