I think as a society in general, we tend to focus on what we are doing "wrong" as parents. I love what we are doing this week as we focus on what a healthy Mom looks like vs. what we are all doing wrong. Today we are going to focus on discipline. Discipline is about Teaching, not just Punishment When we think of discipline we often think of punishment. But the actual word "disciple" comes from the word "discipline" because it is about teaching.
Characteristic #2: A Healthy Mother Doesn't Pick Favorites & Knows They Need to Love Their Children Differently
Mother's know each of their children are separate individuals, each with their own separate emotional needs, talents and abilities. While your first-born may have been a very special and unique and separate experience from your third or fourth-born, a healthy mother does not show favoritism toward any of her children.
So far this week we have discussed the natural states of children. We have discussed that a child naturally feels valuable and vulnerable. Today we explore how the natural state of being imperfect can be used against a child in dysfunctional families. Healthy parents expect our children to be imperfect. We know our children will learn and grow and make mistakes along the way. That is how children learn!
Opportunities to Build Trust
Trust is an essential ingredient in every relationship. Trust is extremely important in marriages, romantic relationships, with our children and other family members. When the person we're in a relationship with feels a lack of trust with us, they lose hope and a sense resentment starts to build.
We never like to see anyone going through a divorce but if it happens, we are so glad parents seek guidance on how to have the LEAST impact on kids. Inevitably, they will have challenges and struggles. But parents can lower the impact for kids if they know what they need to do and follow through. If you missed the beginning of the week, it will be worth your time to go back and catch up.
Divorce takes a child's normal and flips it upside down. There is more research today available about the impact of divorce on kids than when my parents divorced when I was 10. "Helping Your kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way" is THE best resource I have found for parents as they navigate their way through parenting after divorce.
Isn't it fun to see Christmas through the eyes of a child? A few years ago, when decorations started popping up, my then 4 year-old noticed every light, each tree, and had a comment for them all! I realized in the moment that was only his 2nd Christmas that he remembered! We get so desensitized to it all that we forget the beauty and magic in the most wonderful time of the year! Here's some help with your 5 and 6 year-old, to see it through their eyes.
Yesterday we went over the characteristics of resilient children. Two of these characteristics are that a resilient child has learned how to problem solve and has been allowed to experience failure.
The Power of Failure
Failure can help a child (and an adult) develop an identity. Oftentimes we desire for children to have high self-esteem and see themselves in a good light. While this sentiment is well-intentioned, it can be misguided. Let me explain.