"Dysfunctional" Love Songs Part 3

I have enjoyed reading Tamara and Teri's blogs. Although I love the Police, I guess that gave me a different perspective for sure- major stalker song! But we can still enjoy these songs and have the old memories they may bring up. Just be aware of how music can effect you and it is important to pay attention to the lyrics. You don't want them putting unrealistic expectations on your relationships. I am a huge American Idol fan and I was rooting for Jordin Sparks the year she won. I think she is a great artist and a cool person. But her song "No Air"- Wow- this is the ultimate co-dependent relationship!! She can't BREATHE without him? Doesn't want to LIVE without him? Yuck! Check it out! Dysfunctional Love Song #3 by Jordin Sparks: No Air

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?

If I should die before I wake It's 'cause you took my breath away Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave My heart won't move, it's incomplete If there was a way that I could make you understand

But how do you expect me To live alone with just me? 'Cause my world revolves around you It's so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air? Can't live, can't breathe with no air It's how I feel whenever you ain't there There's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep Tell me how you gon' be without me? If you ain't here I just can't breathe There's no air, no air

No air, air No air, air No air, air No air, air

I walk, I ran, I jump, I flew Right off the ground to float to you With no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside You took my breath but I survived I don't how but I don't even care

So how do you expect me To live alone with just me? 'Cause my world revolves around you It's so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air? Can't live, can't breathe with no air It's how I feel whenever you ain't there There's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep Tell me how you gon' be without me? If you ain't here I just can't breathe There's no air, no air

Oh my, Jordin- you need a little help with this. She is incomplete with him, her world revolves around him, and how does he expect her to live alone with just herself. THAT is co-dependency (Read our articles and archived blogs if you are not sure what this is.)

Although our relationships enhance our lives, it is not healthy to be so dependent on someone that you feel they complete you. It isn't healthy to allow our world to revolve around one person- that's enmeshment. Although some of us prefer to live with others, it is healthy to also feel ok to live alone at some point in our lives. It just feels like this guy is everything to her and that is dangerous. That is what causes people to do crazy and whacky things when they lose someone when they are enmeshed.

Jordin- I love your voice and you are a beautiful person but if you feel this way- get help!! lol Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.