Many times, we think of changing our marriage for the better, and we can get overwhelmed with the larger things that need to change. Not all changes are difficult! Some are small and realistic, which makes a huge difference for the health of your marriage. Today, we will wrap up this week's blog with 3 more changes that can have a positive impact on your marriage: Laugh and be silly! When life happens (kids, jobs, expenses, family commitments, etc.), we can get too serious and forget our sense of humor. Try to reconnect to the playfulness from your early days of dating by laughing and being silly. Find humor in day-to-day events if you can, tell jokes, and connect with your "inner child". If your spouse shows love through being goofy and silly, instead of shutting him or her out, try to embrace their silliness as a way of showing affection to you. It can be difficult to do when their is pre-existing tension, but make an effort to lighten up your marriage. You might just remember why you fell in love with your spouse to begin with! Besides, being serious all of the time can take a toll on any person.
Touch each other often. A pat on the back, running your fingers through your spouse's hair (if they like that!), holding hands in the car, greeting each other at the beginning and the end of the day with a hug and a kiss, squeezing their hand or knee under the table, or any form of affection your spouse likes can be a simple thing to re-connect in your marriage.
Make a point to do one random act of kindness for your spouse each week. This does not need to include spending money! Make them a card or leave them a sweet note where they will find it after you have left for the day. Clear the table for your wife, if that is something she usually does. Bring him coffee in bed if that's the first thing he usually does upon waking up. Buy his favorite candy at the store and surprise him. Mow the yard before he gets home, if you know he's had a difficult week and will dread doing it. Fold the laundry and put it away before your wife has a chance to do it. Both men and women describe in marriage counseling how acts of kindness go a long way in making them feel both loved and appreciated. Without acts of kindness, it's easy to begin feeling invisible in the marriage. We go through a "courting" stage of relationships for a reason, so don't stop courting your spouse!
Did any of these tips resonate with you? We hope some of them helped you to spark some creativity in your marriage of simple things you can do to re-connect to your spouse and make some positive changes.
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.