When you don’t love or accept yourself, it can be very difficult for others to love you. If you’ve been reading this week, you know that we have talked about the importance of self-love and provided some tips to start moving you in a more positive direction. Here are some additional ways to work towards loving yourself: Stop Perfectionism
Like Teri mentioned on Monday, none of us are perfect! Accepting this truth is the first step in releasing perfectionistic tendencies. Perfectionism is often created from shame and not feeling “good enough”. Perfectionists often overcompensate for not feeling “good enough” by trying to gain others’ approval in alternative ways (ex. perfect house, perfect looks, overachieving at work).
Allowing yourself to mess up and recognizing your shortcomings can go a long way in decreasing perfectionism. Realize that most people are still going to love you even if everything about you is not “perfect”. YOU are ENOUGH!
You have the ability to be your biggest critic or your biggest cheerleader. The self-talk that you hear constantly can either build you up or bring you down. Which voice in your head is going to be the loudest today?
The negative voice is condemning, pessimistic, and always “glass half-empty”. It makes you look at a difficult situation and feel completely overwhelmed and discouraged. It convinces you that you’re incompetent for any task and that nothing is ever going to get better. Is this the voice that you want helping to navigate you through life? Of course not!
Listening to the positive voice can make you feel like a million bucks. It’s encouraging, optimistic, and affirming. It makes you look at difficult situations and see the silver lining. It gives you confidence that you are capable and have the tools to handle life’s challenges. It’s always PRO-YOU!
Utilize Your Support System
Recognizing your shortcomings as a human being can be humbling. You are not always going to have the solution for every problem you encounter. Sometimes, life is just tough. Reaching out to people doesn’t mean that you are weak—it actually shows that you recognize the importance of community support. We are not made to navigate life alone.
Utilize your support system as you learn to love and accept yourself. If someone else can love you despite your flaws, you should be able to do the same. Ask a friend what they see as your greatest gifts/talents/traits. Sometimes all it takes is someone else seeing positive in you—and you can start to believe that you are worthy of love.
Continue to read this week as we share more ways that you can work towards loving yourself.
Written by Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW
Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.
Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.