Are you looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right? At Imagine Hope we have clients ask us all the time about how to find a healthy relationship. Many people have gone through rough times in relationships and often attract the same unhealthy type of partner over and over. This can make dating discouraging!
An important thing to look for when dating is whether or not your potential partner shows he/ she can be in a healthy relationship based on his/ her attributes. Read each day this week as we discuss what you should be looking for when seeking a healthy dating relationship.
Tip #1- Boundaries
Healthy relationships must have boundaries. So if you are on the look out for a healthy someone in your life, you need to look at boundaries.
Does your partner appear to have boundaries in his/ her life? Have you seen them say 'no' and set a limit? Have you watched them follow through on what they say they will do? If you have observed this, your partner probably understands what a boundary is and the importance of having a voice with people around him/her.
Does he/ she get steamrolled easily? If you have noticed a lot of people pleasing and his/ her stance to flow with the wind, your partner might be struggling with the concept of boundaries. Beware this could lead to some issues with overcommitting, loss of integrity, and a struggle for you to know about the real person you are dating and what they want in your relationship.
How has he/ she responded to boundaries you have set in the relationship? Did they respect you or was there a push back and manipulation to get you to change your mind? If you want to be in a healthy relationship, your partner must respond to your limits in a healthy way. If you notice guilt trips, manipulation, and negotiating when you are setting a boundary, this could be a sign that your partner might not be up for a healthy relationship.
Boundaries teach others what we need from them. It's not about being mean or selfish. It's about helping people know you and where your lines are. Without them, relationships are headed for trouble.
Check back tomorrow for more tips!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri does virtual therapy for residents of Indiana and Florida using videoconferencing technology. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling and adolescent counseling.