Advice to My Younger Self- Tamara

You Don't Have to Do Everything Dear Younger Tamara -

Give yourself a break. You don't have to try so hard at everything you do - not for the reason's you're trying so hard. People will still like you even if you don't say "yes" to whatever it is they're asking of you.

You've convinced yourself that if you're involved in every activity, club and sport possible that you'll be accepted. You're convinced people will approve of you and you'll fit in. Honey, you don't have to DO things for people to fit in. People will accept you and love you for who you are, not for what you can do for them.

There are people who will only like you for what you can do for them. Those people are toxic and unhealthy. Be polite to them and keep your distance. These are not people who you want to keep close to you - they will only make you feel worse and make you believe you have to work harder to get approval.

Slow down. Breathe. Enjoy. The only person who's approval we're going to seek is God's. If we get caught up trying to get the approval of another person, then we know we're off track. We'll get off track from time to time, but we'll find our way back.

Say "no" when you really mean it. You will honor yourself and build your confidence when you mean what you say and say what you mean.

 

Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling  at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.