Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good For You and Avoid Those That Aren't by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend Many times in our practice we get asked the question, "How do I make sure the next relationship isn't like this last one?" This is a very important question. This is usually when I give the recommendation to read Safe People by Cloud and Townsend.
This book addresses the different kinds of unsafe people we can encounter in our lives, be it friends, workplace, or romantic. Cloud and Townsend highlight 3 main categories of unsafe people called: the abandoners, the critics, and the irresponsibles.
What is extremely helpful about this book, is that Cloud and Townsend list out characteristics of unsafe people, making it very easy to identify if you're currently in a relationship with someone similar in your life. Examples of these characteristics include:
- Unsafe people think they "have it all together" instead of admitting their weaknesses.
- Unsafe people are defensive instead of open to feedback.
- Unsafe people are self-righteous instead of humble.
This book not only focuses on warning signs in other people, but it addresses warning signs in the reader as well. The authors make it clear that the risk of being with an unsafe person raises if we ourselves are not taking care of ourselves in four main areas of our lives: relationships, functioning, physical health, and spiritual life.
If you have found yourself in any type of toxic relationship and want to break that pattern, this is a great book for you. This would also be a great book to read and be aware of how to avoid toxic people and relationships even if you've never been in one.
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.