It's important as you read the blog this week to remember anger is a God-given emotion. It's perfectly healthy to feel anger. However, it's how we express anger that can become inappropriate or unhealthy. Here are the next 2 tips in dealing with anger: Tip #2 - Get Help
If you find yourself running into the same anger problems, or you and your spouse going round and round with the same arguments, it might be time to get some help from a third party.
Sometimes each of us comes to a point when we can't figure it out on our own. This does not mean we've failed - it means we need help. The objective, outside look from a third party can give us a fresh perspective on things we wouldn't have normally seen.
Thankfully, help is abundant. Whether it be qualified counselors or trusted pastors, help is available. If you don't click with a counselor the first time, don't give up. Keep looking until you find what you need.
Read Tamara's article on "Finding The Right Therapist" for further information on this topic.
Tip #3 - "Care-Fronting"
This tip involves communicating with your partner/family member/friend, etc at the beginning stages of something bothering you, instead of waiting until it's too late and exploding.
When we're able to "care-front" at the beginning of when something starts becoming annoying, it allows us to speak in a calm and respectful manner. If we wait until we can't take it anymore, we're likely to say things we'll later regret.
For example, instead of letting someone's habit of running 15 minutes late when you carpool together go unchecked, figure out the best way to "care-front" them. Figure out 1. How do you feel? 2. Why do you feel this way? 3. What do you need? It might sound something like this: "I feel anxious and disrespected when you're running late for our carpool. I need for you to show up on time otherwise I'll drive myself to work."
This 3-step formula can help alleviate big anger blow-ups, but also help to communicate exactly how we feel and what we need.
Thanks for reading this week! Please check back in as we have several more great tips to share.
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.