Counterdependency

Many people are familiar with co-dependency issues, but do not always understand it’s counterpart: The counterdependent. This week we will help you see the many aspects of counterdependency and the impact is has on relationships.

The following is a story of a counterdependent person:

Sally has been married to Jim for 15 years. They have 2 elementary age boys, and live a fairly good life.  Jim is a high-powered businessman in the nearby big city. He likes that many people know his name. Jim works 75+ hours a week and rarely takes time away from his computer and blackberry at home, and he often plays golf with his friends in his down time. Jim demands respect wherever he goes, including at home. His son’s are always begging for more time to play with him, but he often only connects with them through sports. However, the boys are often embarrassed by their dad’s behavior at their games when he yells at anyone who disagrees with him and often stomps off the field after getting kicked out by the referee.

Sally finds herself struggling to meet Jim’s expectations at home. He is a hard man to please. All she wants is to sit down and connect with him on a deeper emotional level, but that rarely happens. Even when they have special date nights it seems like he controls the conversation talking about all the great things he’s doing, or complaining about people who don’t see things his way.  He always seems guarded, rarely apologizes for his sharp digs and criticism, and has trouble seeing things that he does as a problem in the relationship.

Do you know someone like Jim? Keep reading through the week to learn more about counterdependency!

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.  Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.