This week we are discussing roadblocks to getting what you want. There are a lot of reasons that keep us stuck from getting what we want in our relationships. Continue reading for more. You believe that asking for what you want is selfish
Many times, people who struggle with shame, codependency, or self-esteem issues feel that asking for what they want is a selfish act. It really isn't. If you let your partner or friend know what you want in a non controlling and non demanding way, you actually help them. Do you like to spend time trying to figure out what someone is trying to communicate to you or what they are wanting when they aren't stating it? No. Most people do not enjoy that. We like it when people let us know. Then it is our decision whether we want to give them what they want or let them know why we aren't comfortable with it.
Some tips in letting people know what you want-
*Let them know this is a desire, not a demand *Tell them why it's important to you *Allow them the freedom to say "yes" or "no" to your request *Don't make them feel bad if they do say "no"
Hopefully you will get positive responses in your relationships when you start communicating what you want. This will encourage you to continue. It might be a good idea to let your partner or friend know that this is something you struggle with and that you are trying to work on it. They will be more aware and sensitive to the difficulty and possibly be more accommodating to you.
Tomorrow Joleen will share one more tip. Thank you for reading!
Written by Natalie Chandler
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville
*Source: How to Ask for What You Want by Jane Herman