Love Knot-If You Really Loved Me

Now that you know what a "Love Knot" is, we will be spending this week talking about some of the most popular ones that we see our clients get stuck in.  Today I'm going to talk about "If You Really Loved Me". This knot looks a little like this: "If you really love me, you should know how to meet my needs.  Since you don't meet my needs, I assume you don't care.  So, why should I care about you or your needs?  If you express something you need, I will purposely not meet it".

I cannot count how many times I have heard couples say, "Well he doesn't meet my needs, so why should I meet his?"  Somehow in the relationship, the partners started keeping score of what they did for one another, instead of just meeting needs because it makes their significant other feel good!  If you see yourself saying this, you may need to take step back and examine "Why do I think that?" 

To untangle this knot, it's important to remember that your partner cannot read your mind.  If you need something, you must communicate it to them.  Do it in a loving way, versus demanding that they fulfill the need right this second.  You will probably get a much better response from them!

Keep reading this week as we talk more about the most common "Love Knots".  Have a great day!  :)

Source: “If you really loved me…” by Dr. Lori Gordon

Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group.  Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling.  Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.

Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.