All relationships have conflict at some point. Many couples try to avoid it mostly because they don’t know how to make fighting work “for” their relationship. Conflict can be a good thing if done correctly. It allows each person to be honest with themselves and their partner about their opinions and desires. This week Imagine Hope wants you to see what changes you can make to help your fights be more fair.
- Respect is a must. No name calling, personal attacks, interrupting, or sarcasm, etc. Disrespect will only cause your partner to be disrespectful back. If you find yourself going down this path, apologize immediately.
- Stay on topic. If you skip from one issue to the next, you are likely to not resolve the initial issue.
- Ask yourself this question throughout the discussion, “Is what I’m about to say going to help this situation?” If the answer is “no”- Don’t say it!
- Don’t sweep issues under the rug. Issues should be brought up at the earliest moment, preferably daily if possible. Otherwise it may build up over time and eventually explode. It is much easier to tackle an issue before it grows into resentment.
- Try not to overload your partner with too many grievances at one time. This can be overwhelming and shaming. Your partner may become hopeless about your relationship’s ability to survive. Be specific with your concerns. You may need to think through what is going on with you and get clarity as to why you are really upset.
Keeping checking in this week as we show you all 20 tips for fighting fair!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed virtual therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.