The Five Freedoms: To Say

Freedom #2: To Say What One Feels and Thinks Instead of What One Should Feel and Think There's that "Should" word again. Whenever you use the word "Should", you're placing judgement on something/yourself. "I Should feel this way" I Should think this way".....basically you're trying to talk yourself into CHANGING your feelings.

A healthier approach is to say what you truly think, and feel how you truly feel (without being rude! Just be honest).

Too many times we get wrapped up in how our feelings and thoughts are going to affect another person, if we're going to disappoint someone, or if they're going to get mad with us. As a result, we change or minimize our own feelings to fit what we think the other person(s) wants to hear.

What happens then? We feel horrible and as though no one ever "gets us" or respects us.

Maybe you grew up believing no one cared to hear what you had to say? Maybe you grew up believing you could make people feel better when you only shared good news, and not the bad news (even if the bad news was the truth)?

Just as we all have Constitutional Rights to vote, bear arms, and the freedom of speech, you have a God-given right to speak what you feel and think.

You don't have to change what you say to be what you think you ought to say or feel.

Please come back to read more emotional Freedoms (Rights) we have, all developed by Virginia Satir. Thanks for reading!

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC, LCAC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling  at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.