This week we are discussing how to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Hopefully you're finding it helpful than the traditional "advice" most people give. We want to encourage more in depth and hopefully healthy thinking around the topic. Here are two more.
#4- Don't talk yourself out of pink and red flags First of all, what are pink and red flags? Most of you know what a red flag is- it's a phrase we use to say "caution" or "I need to take notice of this. Something is not right to me." A pink flag is not quite that obvious but more a small feeling in your gut to pay attention. It's not huge, but notable.
Now that we have cleared that up, listen to them when you are dating. Many people actually have good intuition and see/hear the flags- they just want the relationship to work out so bad that they are willing to talk themselves out of them.
Take note when you have these feelings. It is okay to question them, provide evidence for or against what you are feeling, and to talk to your potential partner about them. If they have a problem with you asking questions or talking about it- guess what- that's a huge red flag!
#5 Be aware and address conflict when it starts happening
As a marriage therapist, we hear so many couples say they wish they would have had conflict before they got married to see how it would have been handled. Most couples actually DO have the opportunity for conflict, they just avoid it early in the relationship for fear of losing that person or pushing them away.
I would encourage you to bring up things, even in the beginning. See how it's going to go. You would rather find out early on if they are a yeller or avoider. Then you can make a decision before you invest any more time in them.
We wish you the best of luck in finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. It can be challenging yet very rewarding if you are aware of healthy habits from the start.
Tomorrow Joleen will give us 3 more tips. Thank you for reading. Have a great week.
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC LCAC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville