Mother's Day is approaching on Sunday! I know this day can be exciting for some as they celebrate motherhood, while for others it can be painful due to loss of a mom, having a difficult relationship with a mom, or having difficulty in trying to become a mom. Regardless of your feelings on Mother's Day, we thought it would be helpful to write about traits to help you understand what a healthy mom looks like. We know this can bring up mixed feelings of gratitude or heartache depending on your relationship with your own mother, and/ or how you have parented your own kids. We hope this will offer direction and hope in all of your relationships!
Characteristic #1: A Healthy Mother Uses Words Wisely
Words are powerful. They can cause you to feel amazing and loved, or they can cut you to the core. Being aware as a mom of how you use your words will have a huge impact on your kids.
When you use critical and shaming words and tones, kids will shrink under the impression that they are not good enough and that love is conditional. This can cause intense psychological wounds that will stay with a child for a life time.
A healthy mom will use words to encourage, teach, and praise a child. She is intentional to use loving words to redirect and discipline in a way that doesn't cause a child harm. She focuses on a child's behavior as being bad, instead of the child himself as bad.
A healthy mother is careful to not joke in a way that can end in pain for her child. She understands that even a joke can leave scars behind.
She speaks to her child the way she wants to be spoken to. After all, kids learn to communicate from what is modeled before them. They will learn by watching you.
We hope you understand the power of your words and choose them wisely. In the movie "The Help", there is a classic moment where a maid repeats to a young girl over and over these words, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” (by Kathryn Stockett). This scene depicts the importance of connecting with your child through words. A healthy mother uses her words to show love.
Check in tomorrow for more traits of healthy moms!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.