- Fighting about too many things at once. It's hard to follow a disagreement when you're fighting about this, that, & the kitchen sink. Stick to one topic and conquer that before dragging out another issue. You'll feel less exhausted and less at odds with each other if you do so. It's like cleaning house. If you save it all for one day it's overwhelming, but if you break it down into sections, it's much more manageable.
- Finger pointing. Each person needs to take responsibility for their part in the relationship's/marriage's problems. Most (not all) of the time it's 50/50. Whether it's how we react or what we say/do, or what we don't say/do that contributes to the overall problem. If we just blame & point fingers, then all we're doing is attacking and not problem solving.
- Getting caught up on all the negatives. Remember that at one time you were attracted to each other and there was a reason you fell in love! Alot of times couples get too focused on keeping score of all the hurts and "who let down who" that the positives get overlooked. If you look for the positives you will find them.
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm