Divorce is a major life-change that many individuals go through. It's difficult, confusing and chaotic at times. This week we'd like to offer you some recommendations to help you take are of yourself if you find yourself in the middle of a divorce:
1. Find Some Stability- Throughout this process there will be alot of disruption. Lots of meetings with lawyers & mediators, lots of packing, lots of emotions. Try to find some sort of normalcy as much as you can. If that's sticking to a routine dinner every Sunday afternoon with friends, or movie night with your kids on Fridays, then do it. Maybe it's waking up 20 minutes early to meditate & pray to start your day off peacefully. Whatever it is, find the stability that works in your best interest.
2. Set Up Your Own Space- When going through a divorce and afterwards, you'll need to find a space that's "yours". Change your bedroom: move the furniture around, paint the room a new color, and/or get a new bedspread. Sometimes the bedroom isn't the only room that needs a change. Other rooms in the house may need a change as well. You'll need to take down pictures of you and your spouse. This is hard to do! Make sure you do it when you're ready. If you have children, make sure you have pictures of both you and their other parent in their rooms. If you don't know what to do with the pictures, save them for your children, they may want them someday. Re-arrange wall art. Move pieces of art around in the house to give it a fresh feeling.
3. Don't Go Through This Alone- Surround yourself with a support system. A good, healthy, non-toxic support system. Remember, support systems are there when YOU need them, not when it's convenient for THEM. Find family, friends, neighbors, church family and other divorcees you can call to vent, cry or ask for help. We were built to be in relationships, not to be an island trying to figure things out on our own. If you hear that voice in your head saying "They don't want to hear me talk about this again", tell it to be quiet, reach out, and lean in to your support system.
If you are going through a divorce, we are sad to hear this. Hopefully today's information, and the information presented this week can help you through the process. Thank you for reading.
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.