Sometimes, it's difficult to see sexuality or sex as a human need. Many times in marriage, we tend to think of it as a "perk" or a benefit... or a want, versus an actual need. Usually, this is when we are referring to the act of sexual intercourse. Today, we will discuss the basic human need of sexuality. Instead of thinking of sexuality as "the act of sex", we encourage you to look at sexuality in a different way. Sexuality means a range of different things, from feeling good about being a man or a woman, to enjoying various aspects of being sexual. Kids who don't grow up in homes where there is a strong model for sexual identity (being a male role model or female role model), or kids who have been overtly or covertly sexually abused, may struggle with sexual identity as an adult. Many times, kids learn to confuse their sexual identity with something inappropriate. Perhaps they learned that sexuality was something to feel ashamed about, or maybe they learned that inappropriate touch feels violating-- and as a result, have poor boundaries around sexual behavior that are too rigid or too loose. But sex, not just sexuality, is one of the main ways that men feel loved, and women too-- when other needs are being met in the relationship as well (this could be an entire blog post itself!). Unfortunately, the basic human need for sexuality is also something that can greatly suffer if many of the other basic needs aren't being met in our relationship.
The basic need for sexuality is biologically programmed into us as human beings. As humans, we have sexual desires and the need for sexual fulfillment. Because sex also incorporates touch, sometimes it serves to meet both human needs for touch, as well as the basic human need for sexuality.
Have you discovered any basic human needs from this week's blog topic? We hope you have learned something new about yourself or your marriage this week! As always, thank you for joining us!
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.