Talks to Have Before Getting Married: My Expectations

Imagine Hope is getting several calls each week for people who want to save their marriage before it starts! Couples are starting to realize that they need to do more planning for their marriage while they plan their wedding. Many get caught up in the thrill of engagement and wedding stuff, that they loose sight of all the things that go into having a successful marriage. Read all week for important things to discuss before you say "I Do". What are your expectations for marriage?

Are they healthy? Couples figure out quickly that “Happily ever after” isn’t realistic. Each person needs to contribute to working on the relationship on a steady basis, and even then it’s important to expect some difficult times and struggles.

Most couples come into the relationship with hidden expectations of what married life will be like, which they often have never communicated to each other directly. Be realistic in your marital expectations, and don’t expect perfection.

Recognize that relationships go through different phases. The excitement and over-the-top feelings of enmeshment from the beginning days of the relationship gradually transform to a deeper connection and a different type of love.

Accept the fact that you are married to (or marrying) a human being who is flawed and imperfect, which means there will be disappointments and difficulties along the way.

Levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment are constantly shifting in marriage from time to time. The important part is to be aware of this and be open to talking about it with each other. If you begin your marriage with a realistic mindset that you will commit to working through issues and tough times that arise, your marriage will be stronger and more likely to succeed.

Check back tomorrow as Tamara gives more great ideas of things to talk about before you get married!

Getting married soon? Give the gift of premarital counseling to each other and make sure you start your marriage off on the right foot! Call 317-569-0046 to get started!

*Resources: Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts by Dr. Les Parrott & Dr. Leslie Parrott & The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.