Do Teri and Tamara have you wondering, "Do I love too much"? As we continue to talk about loving too much, think about when you first began to have romantic love. Most likely it was a time in adolescence when everything you felt was "big time". You felt passionately about many things, and love is commonly one of them. Often times teen aged romance is clingy, larger than life, or desperate. (see any movie from the Twilight Saga to refresh your memory). As we grow wiser and more experienced in acknowledging and controlling our emotions we learn to monitor ourselves and our feelings. As you monitor yours, do you feel like you love too much? One way to think about it is, does my love feel healthy and fulfilling? Or does it feel anxious, overwhelming, or exhausting? If you have already looked at steps 1 and 2, please evaluate the next three steps to help you if you love too much:
3. Be in touch with your feelings and attitudes about every aspect of your life, including your sexuality. Make sure you are not diving into dramatic relationships to escape any feelings you may have. While loving relationships do take work and effort to maintain, they do not require forcing.
4. Cherish every aspect of yourself: your personality, your appearance, your values and beliefs, your body, your interests, and your accomplishments. If you can validate yourself, you will not need to search for a relationship to give yourself a sense of self worth. You will be aware of your own value. You will not need a partner to tell you how awesome you are. You will know it in your soul.
5. Work on developing a high self esteem so you can enjoy being with others, especially others of the opposite sex, who are fine just the way they are. That means stop looking for others who need "fixing". We see many relationships begin where one partner is trying to "save" the other from various issues, i.e.: addictions, low self worth, unhealthy family connections. Do not choose friendships or partners where you need to be needed to feel a sense of self worth.
I am sure you have heard that you cannot be right in a relationship until you are right with yourself. Please continue to check in tomorrow as Natalie writes more "how to's". As always, thank you for reading.
Written by Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT
Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed therapist and Registered Play Therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Alexa enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Alexa also does play therapy, family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield