You might ask... What IS companionate love? This week Imagine Hope is going to tell you! But I'm going to keep you guessing for now! Today I'm giving you 2 stories of couples and I want you to figure out which one might be an example of companionate love. Tomorrow and the days following we will discuss more in depth what it is and how to achieve it.
Couple #1- Sally and Sammy Jones
Sammy has had a crazy, stressful day at work. All he wants to do is go home and relax and watch the game with his wife. He knows she hates football though and will never go for it.
Near the end of his work day, he calls Sally to see what's for dinner. She goes on and on about her bad day and about all that has to be done tonight. Sally rattles off a to-do list- from the kids getting a bath, to the bills being paid. Sammy decides to tell Sally that he has a last minute dinner meeting with work to avoid going home. Sally is silent.
Sammy invites a co-worker to dinner to watch the game and talk about "ideas" for an upcoming project. After all Sammy didn't want to lie completely to Sally.
When Sammy gets home, Sally is finally laying in bed relaxing after all she got done. The kids are sleeping, dishes are done, bills are paid, lunches are packed. All is quiet. She takes time to read the book she has been dying to finish for 2 months.
Sally starts to tell Sammy about the exciting part in her book. He is distracted, but tries to listen. All he wants is to have sex and sleep. When she stops talking, Sammy makes his move. Sally rejects him. They both roll over and go to sleep.
Couple #2- Jane and Jack Smith
Jane hops out of bed to get her early morning run in. Her exercise time is important for her to get started for the day. Even though Jack doesn't run, he knows she values this time. One of the kids wakes up abnormally early, which forces Jack out of bed.
Jack goes downstairs, starts breakfast, and makes the coffee. When Jane comes home pumped up, he asks about her run. She thanks him for getting the "morning house routine" started.
As they talk about their day as a family, Jack mentions the beautiful weather and his desire to take off work early to hit some golf balls. He asks Jane to join him if possible. Even though Jane isn't a huge fan of golf, she accepts the invite and jokes that Jack might need to re-teach her some of his tips. Jane knows the time together will be good for them.
That night Jack and Jane do the dishes together and talk about their future vacation. They have different versions of "ideal", she likes the beach, he likes the mountains. They compromise on a place that offers both options.
At bed time both Jack and Jane feel connected. It is been a good day.
Do you relate to either of these stories? So can you guess which one is companionate love? Check back tomorrow as Tamara tells you more about it!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.