Communication can be so difficult. You put all our experiences (childhood, past relationships etc) + our current mood and that can = a disaster! We all struggle with particular ways we do not like for people to communicate with us. It's easy to focus on them. I like that we are focusing on what WE might be doing this week to harbor difficulty in relationships in regards to communication. Here are a few more characteristics of bad communication: Helping: This is one of my biggest annoyances- when you are sharing a challenge or difficulty with someone and they start trying to solve your problems. I know it is usually out of concern. But many times it is also people feeling uncomfortable with negative feelings. They want to fix it because they don't know what to say or do. We don't always have to say or do something for people. Sometimes just having a presence and letting them know you care by listening and affirming is enough.
Sarcasm This often comes out in couples when there is some anger or hostility that isn't being talked about. The person uses words or tone of voice to convey tension or hostility which no one is acknowledging. I know none of you know what I am talking about! :)
Scapegoating This is when one person refuses to look at their responsibility in a conflict and sees everyone else as "having the problem". This person feels they are sane, happy, and uninvolved with the problem. Usually, that IS part of the problem- their denial about their responsibility in the relationship or problem! If you idenitify yourself as someone who never has problems in a relationship, it's always everyone else- YOU may be the common denominator!
Seeing anything familiar? Again, all of us need improvement in communication. I encourage you to pick out a couple that have stuck out to you this week and work on those. Thank you for reading! Have a wonderful week!
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.