This week we are discussing fear and anxiety. The other therapists have done an excellent job of describing anxiety and giving tips to help with it. We thought because we are relationship experts and see how anxiety affects relationships, it would be helpful to share.
1. The person with anxiety often feels a lot of shame about their anxiety so they feel like they need to hide. This can create intimacy issues with your partner, including lowering the level of trust in the relationship.
2. One behavioral aspect of anxiety is the need for control. Somehow the person struggling with anxiety believes that gaining more control will lower their anxiety. So in a relationship this can look and feel like they are trying to control their partner or the relationship.
3. Sometimes when struggling with anxiety we see clients be impulsive. Again, they are trying to alleviate their anxiety by doing something they might not normally do. This can be destructive to a relationship in that the partner may worry about what is going to happen next.
4. Because someone with anxiety is often anxious, worried, and struggling with control, they can feel needy to their partner. Their partner might feel like they have to take care of them or put their own needs on the back burner in order to help their partner feel less anxious. This can lead to needs being unmet and oftentimes, resentment.
It is important to remember if you are the partner of someone who struggles with anxiety, they often do need reassured about what they are anxious about. Try not to feed into the anxiety, which can make it worse. If you feel overwhelmed by your partners anxiety, do get help from a trained professional. Don't let anxiety take over your relationship.
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC LCAC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.