Are you struggling with communication? Do you get frustrated when it feels like your partner and you aren't on the same page? This might mean that you are believing some communication myths! Falling into the trap of these communication myths will only end in more frustration in you relationship. This week Imagine Hope will squash these myths in order for you to have a healthy shift in thinking when you are talking with others! Myth #1: “If my partner really loved me and cared about me, he/she would instinctively know how I feel, and what I want and need to be happy in our relationship” Reality: This is called the "mind-reading myth" - expecting your partner to know instinctively what you want and need without having to say anything, then feeling resentful, discouraged, frustrated, and unfulfilled when your needs aren’t met. In reality, people must specifically communicate their wants, needs, and expectations to others in order to potentially get those needs met, including communicating how they feel about issues that arise in the relationship. If this is something you have never done, it can be quite scary and awkward, and it takes a lot of practice. The rewards, however, can open up a whole new avenue of intimacy in the relationship, deepening the connection between two people. It is much more satisfying than sitting around and hoping that someone will eventually realize what you need, what is important to you, and how you feel!
Myth #2: “People who really love each other should automatically communicate well" Reality: People don’t generally learn at a young age how to communicate effectively with others in ways that deepen and strengthen relationships. Good communication does not come naturally for most people. In fact, many of us learned very unhealthy ways of communication from various role models in our lives, and continue to communicate in unhealthy ways because it is all we know. Healthy communication takes great understanding and insight into your own issues, knowing your background and history, how you are the way you are, including your ‘hot spots’ as well as your ‘blind spots’. Learning how to communicate in an open and healthy way is one essential component to the growth of a relationship, and takes dedication and work to change.
More myths to come all week! Keep reading for more!!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.