This week Imagine Hope is going over phrases we often hear spoken in our offices that are unhealthy in communication. We hope to bring awareness & consciousness to commonly spoken phrases and encourage anyone who uses these phrases to consider a different point-of-view.
Phrase #2: "People Take Advantage Of Me...."
Too many times this phrase is said in our office, without someone realizing what impact and belief this phrase really has on a person's life. Generally when someone says this phrase it's because they truly believe it. They do believe others take advantage of them. This leaves a person powerless and at the mercy of most of the people they come into contact.
In reality, we have so much more power over ourselves (note I did not say over others) than we realize. Chances are if we believe someone is taking advantage of us, then we need to re-evaluate our boundaries and messages we're giving to this person. Is there something we're doing that is saying "Go right on ahead and do this to me, but chances are, I'm not going to say a word and I'm going to put up with it". Or, if we are setting boundaries & if we still feel used, then we need to re-evaluate if the relationship in general is too toxic.
If you are feeling used and unappreciated, we encourage you to see if somehow you are giving anyone the green light to treat you in that manner. We're not saying to blame yourself, or that you "deserve" it in anyway. We're just asking you to evaluate whether there's anyway someone would have gotten that message from your behavior. If you're doing everything you can, then you have to take care of yourself in a relationship where you do not feel valued and respected.
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.