I was at a conference when I heard a well known and respected Psychologist, Henry Cloud, tell a wonderful story. It was about a couple he had counseled. They were sick and tired of their 21 year-old son living with them. He didn't contribute financially or with any of the household chores. They wanted to know how they could fix their son's problem. Henry looked at them and said, "Your son doesn't have a problem. He has it made. YOU all have a problem!"
The term "failure to launch" is something that is becoming an increasing problem in our society. Young adults enter into a new developmental stage requiring them to learn to have greater independence and responsibility, as well as learning the skills necessary for more independent activities and decision making. When a child is unwilling or unable to make this life transition successfully, it can have a great emotional impact on both the child as well as the parents.
When children return back home in their 20's and 30's, this can create some uncomfortable moments for parents. Finances is one such area that can become very uncomfortable.
One reason children move back home is for their own financial reasons. Somehow they're struggling financially on their own, and they land on mom and/or dad's doorstep.
Have you ever heard a friend or family member complain about their adult child still living in their basement? This phenomenon is called “Failure to Launch”. This week at Imagine Hope we will be discussing what failure to launch is, the impacts and consequences, and how to address it should you find your adult children still living with you.
This weekend we were in the airport and we were reminded of how much animals are helping people cope and enabling them with their mental health. We saw 2 service animals (for mental health challenges) within one hour while waiting to board our plane. I thought it ironic that our blog topic this week was planned to be "Ways Pets Improve Mental Health." People are catching on that our four legged friends are not just companions for the blind or law enforcement but they can actually help those who struggle with anxiety, depression, and other struggles. Today let's talk about how they help us get out of "ourselves".
This week at Imagine Hope, we are discussing the impact your four-legged friends can make on your mental health. Did you know that research shows owning a dog or a cat can reduce blood pressure, decrease stress, and boost levels of endorphins in your brain? It’s amazing how impactful these family members can be on our lives!
Whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, each person in that relationship must be capable to have healthy intimacy for it to work out. Sometimes, we try to change other people to get our own needs met, so realizing that someone else might not be capable of what you are asking for, is important. This can help you let go of changing them and work on changing yourself and your expectations instead. Remember, you are worthy of the best that life has to offer!
As we have been discussing this week, loving too much can be damaging to your relationships and to yourself. It can cause Depression, Anxiety, multiple relationships that don't work out, and burn out on life. If you haven't yet, please consider reading the earlier blogs from Monday- Wednesday to get an idea of what loving too much looks like and what to do if you are doing it.
As Teri wrote yesterday, it is possible to love too much. Amazing, but true. We want to help those of you who find yourself in this situation to find balance and peace. The middle ground can be loving someone & loving and honoring yourself as well. It doesn't have to be either/or. And, we're not just speaking to women this week either. Men can love too much too!
We do not usually think of our relationship as something with ingredients. However, it is important to break down components that support relationship health. Its a good idea to be introspective and see what exactly makes up our partnerships and friendships to maintain good relationship health. Does your relationship have the following 3 ingredients?